“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:19-23 (NIV)
I really have a bad temper that many times I think that I am a monster in a human body. Well there are times that I can control myself. That is when I get to talk to myself and “MY” self will actually listen.
But I do not always get to talk to myself and MY self does not always listen. And the saddest thing is, most of the time, my anger gets lashed out at my poor daughter. A lot of times she has nothing to do with my anger or maybe she just did a minor thing that irritated me. But the fact is, she did not really deserve to be treated that way. It just so happened that I was angry and she was the only one with me. Poor baby.
When I opened my bible this morning, I was led to the book of Galatians 5:22. It is a passage that talks about the fruit of the Spirit. But I did not just zero in on this verse but instead read the passages before that. The words just struck me–it talks about the sinful nature of man and one of the things highlighted in the verse was “fits of rage.” Bulls’ eye.
I could very well describe my angry self as having “fits of rage”. True. I could be like that, just like the Incredible Hulk. He has no control over his rage and I can sometimes be like that.
Thankfully, I am aware and I know that even if I could not possibly control myself. But Someone can and is willing to help me.
My daughter is already getting nervous. She knows it when I am angry and she then becomes jittery. That is why I hate what I am doing to her.
So this is my prayer that I continue to pray, because I always fail.
“God, I totally surrender myself to you. I acknowledge that I am helpless with my temper tantrums. I dislike it, I abhor it, and I do not approve of it because I consider it as sin. Yet I continue to do it. Lord I don’t know how to pray about this, if You will take this away from me or that You will give me strength to control this. I can only pray for healing upon the damages of my temper upon my daughter as well as divine protection on her whenever I will once again lose my temper.”
